244.让别人对你感恩

让别人对你感恩。有些人把受惠变成施恩,本来在受惠,看上去或被认为却是在施恩。有些人十分狡猾,本来是在求人,却好像是给人面子,自己反而受到尊敬;他们能从别人的掌声里捞到好处。他们掌控事情非常精明:别人为他们干活,却好像他们在为别人做事。他们用非常手段,颠倒施恩与受惠,或至少让人分不清谁对谁有恩。他们通过赞赏他人来获取最好的东西;表达自己喜欢某样东西,让人觉得赠送它是件很荣幸的事。他们利用谦恭来施恩,原本是他们欠债,却让别人感到是受惠。通过这种方法,他们把被动语态的“受惠”变成主动语态的“施恩”,这说明他们虽不通语法,却很懂手腕。这是一种狡猾的手段,但是,如果你能觉察并看穿它,让他们真正付出而你真正受益,那就更显出你的高明。

244.Create a feeling of obligation

Create a feeling of obligation. Some transform favours received into favours bestowed, and seem, or let it be thought, that they are doing a favour when receiving one. There are some so astute that they get honour by asking, and buy their own advantage with applause from others. They manage matters so cleverly that they seem to be doing others a service when receiving one from them. They transpose the order of obligation with extraordinary skill, or at least render it doubtful who has obliged whom. They buy the best by praising it, and make a flattering honour out of the pleasure they express. They oblige by their courtesy, and thus make men beholden for what they themselves should be beholden. In this way they conjugate "to oblige" in the active instead of in the passive voice, thereby proving themselves better politicians than grammarians. This is a subtle piece of finesse; a still greater is to perceive it, and to retaliate on such fools' bargains by paying in their own coin, and so coming by your own again.